Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Masters of Psychology is a new commentary and desiderium dedicated to professional wrestling's masters of ring psychology. These ring physicians, whose precision derived more from infidelity than calculation, truly understood the ignorance imbued for appearing in the ring other than to sell the next match and the dithyrambs which ensured its raptness. Enjoy... "We want Crusher!"When it comes to captivating an audience, Seattle's Johnny Valentine was among the best. Especially when he tangled with "the greatest rassler' to ever step in the ring here in Chicago or any place," The Crusher. As my friend and former writer for the Wrestling Observer, Dick Deluxe, proclaimed, "never the more has a single video been so perfect for a Ph. D. candidate to write their dissertation on." And I cannot disagree with the man. It is ten minutes of, well, nothing and everything. It is the epitome of dialogism under the thundering unison of "We want Crusher! We want Crusher!" Ten minutes of fans screaming for the Crusher's head on a stick. Ten minutes of Johnny Valentine stomping around the ring, his subtle body language keeping the fans from jumping the rail. "Let me handle the bum!" he implies with a few fist pumps. A wrestler by the name of "Badboy" Joe from Minnesota is introduced as The Crusher's replacement and is swiftly disposed of in a mere twenty seconds with five arm drags and a "skull buster." All the while Valentine keeps his eyes fixated on the gorilla position anticipating The Crusher's return to ringside. The Crusher returns and all hell nearly breaks loose. The ensuing interview, which is nearly drowned-out by the crowd, becomes one of wrestling's all time classics.
Valentine and The Crusher managed to stretch a couple of weak kicks into ten minutes of pandemonium and months worth of sellouts. Neither man did a damn thing to each other and assuredly left the venue that evening relatively unscathed and a few bucks richer. This is American professional wrestling at its finest. Enjoy the video of Johnny Valentine v. The Crusher and feel free to share your observations in the comments section below.
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